


Taikutsu

by Pyreneese



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: AU-Light won, Future, L x Light, M/M, Reminiscing, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:40:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21788407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pyreneese/pseuds/Pyreneese
Summary: As Light gets ready for a day as the god of the new world, he can't help but remember L.
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Comments: 7
Kudos: 41





	Taikutsu

Light leaned against the window, looking out over the cityscape. It was grey and covered in a thick fog, making it look as if it was in the clouds. Everything was quiet and peaceful, promising to bring a new day of Kira's World. The people would kneel in the streets, in the temples, in their homes. They'd sing his praises and celebrate their benevolent god. Music would play, so loud that smaller houses would rattle and the cars would bounce from the waves. It was a sight to behold, so many people congregated loving one being...

Behind him, Takada and Mikami were a flurry of movement as they went over his schedule for the day, who he was meant to execute, the events he'd have to approve, the new leaders he'd want to appoint. Light simply nodded, his gaze going distant. Everything was perfect, even with Misa. She'd had his child and now he could officially say he had an heir to his kingdom. He'd molded her into the perfect consort or at least, as perfect as she could be. Quiet, out of the way, nurturing. That's all he needed and what he needed, he got.

Kiyomi cleared her throat, making Light look up. Everything was perfect.

His eyes were dead as she chirped excitedly.

"I just received the reports this morning! Four billion people attended their Kingdom Temple today. Those are record numbers!"

Light nodded, following her through the empty halls of what used to be the task force's headquarters. Of course he'd won and killed every single one of them. He could still remember Near's eyes as they widened. The young boy clutching at his chest as he crumpled. And like that, the closest thing to a threat he'd felt was gone. Mello had been easy to dispose of. Even as he sobbed over Near's body, just to join him a minute later. He paused by his old room, nodding to her.

"You go on. I'll get started on the day's executions."

She whirled to him, her eyes brimming with adoration. He'd gotten used to the blind devotion. At this point, he even found it mildly annoying.

"Oh, Kami! So diligent... of course! I won't disturb you."

Takada quickly slid the doors shut, leaving Light alone in the bedroom.

He ran a hand along the walls, remembering how angry he was whenever L would keep him up because of his insomnia.

" _You have to sleep at **some** point._"

_"I could, but then I'd miss valuable time to conduct the investigation," he replied evenly._

Light's hand paused on the wall, his head hanging as the memories fought their way to the front. He'd tried repressing, but there was one in particular that absolutely refused to be forgotten...

* * *

L finally fell asleep, but all Light could do was watch his back... his small frame rising and falling. Sometimes he was beautiful in the way he breathed, his lithe body moving gracefully. And finally, L turned around, large steely eyes settling on his.

"Now who needs to sleep?" L teased.

"It's just... Ryuzaki... are you ever lonely?"

The grey turned soft, longing, silent. L didn't say anything for what felt like the longest time.

"Humans are deceptive creatures... Do you feel lonely?"

It wasn't the straight-forward answer he hoped for. In fact, it wasn't any kind of answer. Classic redirection... Light hesitated but sighed heavily, his gaze holding the other's.

"If you think I'm so deceptive, then why are we doing this? Why are you sleeping with me?"

He hated the note of desperation in his voice. Those impossibly large dark eyes were wide, considering, sizing him. For a moment, Light thought his partner would leave, that maybe he'd scared him away. But L sidled closer. tracing the lines on Light's arm.

"Because I'm empty," L whispered, turning his attention to the ceiling, "if emptiness is loneliness, then yes, Light... I'm lonely."

"This emptiness... is it before or during me? Do I fill you?," Light asked, trembling.

He didn't know why he needed to know. But he needed to hear L say he desired him. The thought of Light filling any hole in the detective's heart was enough to make him shiver in excitement. Would that mean he'd won this game? Different emotions flooded his core, willing L to say yes. _Say I've beaten you, that you need me_. L gave him a wry smile, shifting on his side. It was a genuinely rare sight that Light had learned to savor.

"This world is rather boring, isn't it? It gives you this emptiness and just expects you to exist. I suppose... you've alleviated my boredom--"

Light's face flickered. He didn't know what he was expecting... for L to suddenly envelop him and call him Kami? The other examined Light's face, his sigh audible and making Light re-focus.

"--which is more than what I can say for most."

Hm. Even so, Light couldn't tell if it was a compliment or not. He moved closer, his mouth a few inches away from L's. His partner laughed. Now that was an alien sound. Light gaped, internalizing how he looked when he laughed. But it had sent him spiraling into a state of confusion, unsure where to put his mouth now. 

"It'll be lonely, won't it?" L murmured, placing his head on the pillow, exposing his neck, "when either you or I am gone and no one can alleviate our boredom. Then what?"

 _Damn him_. Always knowing just the things to say to make a knife twist in his gut. The thought shook Light to his core. But he shook his head roughly, pushing L to his stomach. No, he couldn't afford to think like that. As he straddled him, he leaned in to L's ear, feeling his partner's shiver.

"Then I'll be at the top."

As he begun thrusting, L spoke, making him pause, a cold sweat breaking on his brow.

"I see... be careful, Light... it's lonely at the top. You'll be empty too... what will you do then?"

Light's tongue felt heavy. His fingers twitched as he gripped L's hair, the other gazing at him with an infuriating calmness. He knew at some point it would happen, but he didn't want to think about life without L. So instead of answering, he fucked him. Roughly, without mercy. L lay there, moaning and panting every once in a while, but his gaze was distant. Light's thrusts became sloppy, and L gently looked into his face, pulling him into a needy kiss. L's fingers tangled into Light's hair, those long digits passing over his scalp. Light settled, the heat of the moment making his breath catch. But Light's chest was frozen, an icy fear of how dull life would be without his partner.

He didn't want to feel empty.

* * *

 _I don't know, L... what will I do_?

Light sat on the edge of the bed, the emptiness overwhelming. And nothing, no nights with Misa, or gruesome parade, could compare with the deep-seated innate _boredom_. It was a sucking feeling, like he was being dragged into a mundane Hell that his mind was clawing to escape, trying to find stimulation in _anything_. It felt like he could almost grasp his time with L, when there was passion and fear and anger... when he _felt,_ when he had a _pulse_. 

There was no one left to oppose him.

He'd won.

Why wasn't he happy?

He was on top of the world. With one snap of his fingers, he could make empires crumble, turn the proudest man into a sniveling coward. It was just fear, nothing underlying or unspoken. Nothing worth waiting or playing the game for. There was no game...

Once again, life was boring. Light tensed, feeling like the same kid in high school that felt dead. Except now, there was nothing else to do. What could he possibly accomplish that would challenge him? There was nothing. There was nowhere to go beyond becoming a god. L's heart had been his greatest challenge, and he still wasn't sure if he'd won that.

Light slowly fished for the death note, staring at its cover.

When Kiyomi came to find him, her shriek bounced off the walls.

He was on the bed, brown eyes wide, staring at the ceiling. The death note casually rested on his chest. Kiyomi took a few cautious steps forward, flipping the book over. A cry racked her body.

 _Light Yagami_.


End file.
